I have a date next week. With a guy that is seven years younger than me. That I met on OKCupid.
Chances are this won’t end well, but I’m going for it anyway. I’m going to pick out a cute outfit, make myself up, and head into this date with an open heart and an open mind for the sake of flirting, and butterflies, and adventure – because, gosh darn it, I deserve to have all three of those things in my life.
It took some contemplating on my part before deciding to reactivate my OKCupid account this week.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready to date again. While it’s been almost two months since Ben and I broke up, there are times he still creeps into my brain. I guess that’s only natural since he became such a huge part of my life for three months.
Most of the other relationships I’ve been in have ended in hurtful ways, giving me an excuse to despise and want to forget about the other person at the end.
My relationship with Ben didn’t end that way so it made things a little confusing having no real reason to cut him out of my life.
Sometimes I look back and wonder if I made myself believe Ben was more perfect for me than he actually was during our time together. Love has a way of doing that – filtering out the not-so-great parts of people so all you see is the qualities you admire most about them.
The reality is there are things I want from a partner that Ben wasn’t capable of giving me. Realizing that released me from the spell I’d been under, and when it did I saw our relationship for what it was – it wasn’t forever; it was a learning experience.
Once I realized that I was confident it was time to get back in the dating game. And that’s how I ended up back on OKCupid, with a date next week.
This guy is the complete opposite of Ben. He is so incredibly open to love and expressive of his feelings it’s even a little scary for me – but it’s also inspiring. He reminds me of how hopeful I was about happily ever afters before things went so incredibly wrong with Aidan’s father.
He loves music and plays the guitar. He’s family oriented. He volunteers and works with kids. He loves animals. He has a good job, is responsible, and has his own place. He’s affectionate and doesn’t hold anything back.
How’s this for freaky – we even have the same tattoo!
He has so many of the qualities I’m looking for in a partner, but since we met online I won’t know if there’s any real chemistry between us until after our date this week.
There’s not a doubt in my mind if things worked out with this guy, he’d adore me in a way no man ever has. My only fear is he seems ready RIGHT NOW for a serious relationship if sparks fly and I’m not sure I can move that quickly.
I’m more of a slow and steady gal when it comes to relationships these days, so his enthusiasm could send me running if I feel too much pressure.
I guess only time will tell what will come of my latest adventures in OKCupid.