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Jan
14

Another Year Of Possibilities. Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my 34th birthday and I couldn’t be happier about getting another year older.

With 100% honesty I can say that my 30s have been the best years of my life.

Though they started off rocky while I found my footing as a single mom and single woman, they’ve turned into an amazing adventure – filled with opportunities, experiences and lessons that have taught me how to LIVE, LAUGH, AND LOVE.

Excuse the cheesy cliche but it’s true.

For the last few years it felt as if I was climbing this ridiculous mountain to fulfill my dreams.

Some months I would make good time. Other months I could barely climb. And then there were those inevitable periods we all have in life where I’d lose my grip and slide back down the mountain – having to scale some of the same jagged rocks all over again.

I climbed for financial independence and a career – and I (mostly) kept my eyes focused on the home I wanted to build for myself and my son that sat somewhere amidst this dense fog at the top of the mountain.

I couldn’t see it, but I knew it was there – and so I kept climbing.

This weekend I looked around and realized I finally made it through the fog.

I’m standing at the top of the mountain surrounded by all the dreams I fought so hard to reach and I could not be happier.

But now what?

I’m not the type of person who likes to stand still for too long, especially when I know there are other mountains to climb with amazing views at the top.

I’ve grown and changed in the last four years and with that growth has come new values and visions of what I want out of my life.

I’ve conquered being alone.

Now I want more.

I want to be in a relationship again and I finally know that I’m ready.

The last few weeks have taught me that.

This year I want to keep my heart open and make romantic connections- without my usual fear that I will be abandoned. Because it is in the moments that I let people in to the deepest parts of me that I am the happiest.

There are some people who are happier alone.

And while I’ve learned how to find happiness in and appreciate solitude these last few years, my real joy lies in being with and around other people.

It’s time to face my fear of making a romantic connection only to lose it again.

Really, what does it matter if a connection doesn’t last forever? It doesn’t make it any less of a connection.

A few minutes. A few hours. A few months. A few days.

In the end, any amount of REALLY connecting with someone is worth grieving its loss to me.

That feeling when two people allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to let one another in to fill their broken pieces; when they click together to become a part of one another – no matter how short lived that romantic connection might be – is worth it.

It’s time to climb again and leave my fear behind.

Happy Birthday to me!

 

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Related posts:

  1. Goodbye 2012. Hello New Year.
  2. Look Who’s Happy Now
  3. When It Comes To My Love Life, Less Is More

6 comments

  1. Sheba Parveez says:

    Love this post & LOVE you! Happy birthday trailblazer!! You are honestly one kickbutt female and I hope you’re enjoying the view from that mountain. You deserve that view. You’ve earned it. And I know that a woman like you will always search for the next adventure and climb higher and do more! I’m so happy to have found a person like you to guide me up some of these same trails and inspire me to find some of my own xoxox

    1. Mely says:

      Thank you for always helping me see the things in myself I can’t see.

      I’m so grateful you found my blog, and that you found the courage to meet me face to face to laugh the night away with a bunch of drag queens last Valentine’s Day.

      Your friendship is precious to me and I am lucky to know you, and inspire you.

      XOXO

  2. Naked Girl in a Dress says:

    Once you learn the lesson that the loss isn’t so painful when a relationship ends, you can find something significant. Lacking the fear of the end is what leads to the truly amazing relationships. I just learned this lesson over the summer and somehow found myself with my soul mate and now fiance by the end of the year. Its great you are learning this a decade earlier than me, too.

  3. TheDiva says:

    Happy Birthday to YOU!! I love this post. It reminds me of where I was not too long ago – single, successful and happy … but more importantly at a point in life where I was finally ready to meet the one. The key is to accept appreciate where you are and live it to the best of your abilities, not to mention keep smiling. I encountered lots of Mr. Right-Nows and they were great while they lasted, then when they were gone I picked myself up and kept on living! Before you know it “He” will come along – when you are least expecting it. Funny how true that statement really is. I always tried to believe it, but never fully did til the day it happened. Make 2013 your bitch! You are smart, beautiful, funny and one hell of a single woman/mom. I can’t wait to follow along for the read/ride :)

  4. Brad says:

    Happy Birthday you little mynx!

  5. tania says:

    Happy belated birthday!

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