Today is my 34th birthday and I couldn’t be happier about getting another year older.
With 100% honesty I can say that my 30s have been the best years of my life.
Though they started off rocky while I found my footing as a single mom and single woman, they’ve turned into an amazing adventure – filled with opportunities, experiences and lessons that have taught me how to LIVE, LAUGH, AND LOVE.
Excuse the cheesy cliche but it’s true.
For the last few years it felt as if I was climbing this ridiculous mountain to fulfill my dreams.
Some months I would make good time. Other months I could barely climb. And then there were those inevitable periods we all have in life where I’d lose my grip and slide back down the mountain – having to scale some of the same jagged rocks all over again.
I climbed for financial independence and a career – and I (mostly) kept my eyes focused on the home I wanted to build for myself and my son that sat somewhere amidst this dense fog at the top of the mountain.
I couldn’t see it, but I knew it was there – and so I kept climbing.
This weekend I looked around and realized I finally made it through the fog.
I’m standing at the top of the mountain surrounded by all the dreams I fought so hard to reach and I could not be happier.
But now what?
I’m not the type of person who likes to stand still for too long, especially when I know there are other mountains to climb with amazing views at the top.
I’ve grown and changed in the last four years and with that growth has come new values and visions of what I want out of my life.
I’ve conquered being alone.
Now I want more.
I want to be in a relationship again and I finally know that I’m ready.
The last few weeks have taught me that.
This year I want to keep my heart open and make romantic connections- without my usual fear that I will be abandoned. Because it is in the moments that I let people in to the deepest parts of me that I am the happiest.
There are some people who are happier alone.
And while I’ve learned how to find happiness in and appreciate solitude these last few years, my real joy lies in being with and around other people.
It’s time to face my fear of making a romantic connection only to lose it again.
Really, what does it matter if a connection doesn’t last forever? It doesn’t make it any less of a connection.
A few minutes. A few hours. A few months. A few days.
In the end, any amount of REALLY connecting with someone is worth grieving its loss to me.
That feeling when two people allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to let one another in to fill their broken pieces; when they click together to become a part of one another – no matter how short lived that romantic connection might be – is worth it.
It’s time to climb again and leave my fear behind.
Happy Birthday to me!