I have a confession: I might be the world’s worst dater.
I’m great at being in a serious relationship and I’m great at being single, but put me anywhere in the middle of those two things and I have no clue what I’m doing.
Truthfully, casual dating makes me uncomfortable because the word casual makes me think of sleeping around; which then makes me think of all the times I’ve been cheated on, opening my big can of abandonment issues.
In reality, if you’re casually dating aren’t you just one
erection step away from having casual sex?
Isn’t casual dating an oxymoron, or am I just a moron?
They say casual dating is all about keeping your options open and playing the field, so that you can always be on the lookout for someone new in case things fizzle with the person you’re currently dating, but isn’t that dooming a relationship before it even starts?
Seems a bit asshole to me to believe there’s “someone better” out there if you’re lucky enough to find someone you click with.
Sparks don’t fly often for me. And for that reason, I have a habit of focusing my attention on a single man instead of multiple men when I feel chemistry between us.
But I also know this is what may have led me to the wrong relationships in the past. Falling fast and falling hard, going from one relationship right to the next, was always my forte because my co-dependency wouldn’t allow me to be an individual.
I’d like to think that since I’ve been single for well over three years now and have learned how to love myself that I won’t slip back into my old co-dependent ways.
After all, I know the kind of relationship I want to be in, the kind of man I want to be in it with, and the kind I don’t.
I also know how easy it is to mistake lust for love, which is why I now avoid casual sex.
I want more.
If we get past the first date it isn’t as casual for me anymore. I’m not saying I’m picturing us walking down an aisle or growing old together, but at the very least I’ve opened myself up to the possibility of falling for you.
A second date with me means I like you and I think there’s a connection between us that is worth exploring.
A third date means I’ve probably stopped talking to other guys because I think you’re awesomely worth it.
But is the third date too soon for me to expect an emotional investment from the guy I’m seeing as well?
See?! I have no clue what I’m doing.
FML. I really am the world’s worst dater.