Making The First Move

I’ve joked a lot about my online dating woes here, but I know deep down that online dating can work.

After all, one of my blogger idols Ms. Single Mama met her amazing husband on OKCupid after several failed attempts at dating the old fashioned way.

And one of my closest friends in real life met her husband on JDate, and he is one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met.

Since I’ve been on OkCupid for 10 months now with no luck – mostly receiving messages from socially awkward men that just aren’t my cup of ANYTHING – I decided to take matters into my own hands by making the first move.

Yes, you heard that right – I went ahead and stalked checked out a few OKCupid profiles with the hopes of messaging a man I found interesting, funny & attractive, instead of waiting around for him to come across my profile and *fingers crossed* send me a message.

Why I didn’t decide to do this sooner is beyond me.

I’m a confident woman that knows what she wants. I don’t hold back when trying to accomplish life goals, so why have I been taking a backseat to my love life, hoping a guy will make the first move?

Aren’t the odds better of me finding what I want if I’m the one doing the picking, instead of waiting around for a guy to pick me out of a bunch of other profiles on an online dating site?

I think I’ve bitched enough about not getting emails from men who interest me.

It’s my turn to choose who I want to chat with.

Sure it may be more culturally acceptable for a guy to make the first move, but I say “FUCK THE POLICE!”

It’s the 21st century, damn it. I’m a motherfuckin’ empowered lady.

In addition to that, there’s also the fact that if a woman like me on an online dating site filled with thousands of other women looking for love doesn’t write that hottie of a lawyer, he may never realize I exist.

So after a little procrastination yesterday I decided to message that hottie of a lawyer. I figured I had nothing to lose … that at best, I’d have some new blog fodder, and at worst, he wouldn’t write back.

Except, he responded today.

So polish your lady balls, women. It seems some dating rules were made to be broken.

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Related posts:

  1. Adventures in OKCupid
  2. A-Hole Alert. Or Why Insecure Men Make Me Stabby.
  3. How(Not) To Message A Woman On OKCupid If You Want To Get Laid


  1. Brad says:

    We started our little online love affair with each other when I wrote you about smart women falling for idiot men.

    From my side of the fence I do the exact same thing, I hem and haw about actually sending a message to someone I’m attracted to because I keep thinking that in a million years she’d never respond to me. Sometimes my bashfulness cockblocks my awesomeness.

    I get messages all the time from gals who are way too old and gals I am in no way attracted to. But when someone sweet and beautiful and smart sends me a message, that’s when shit gets real. (like two days ago and we’re meeting tomorrow)

    You’re pretty cool for grabbing the crotch gangsta style and poppin a cap in his ass. See what you want, say what you want and get what you want.

    1. Mely says:


      Good luck, today. Not that an awesome guy like you needs it ;)


  2. Amanda Jillian says:

    Go you!

  3. Beverly Diehl says:

    Haven’t jumped into the online dating pool yet, though I heard it can be fun. (Note: in the case of the FREE sites, my g-f’s tell me you get what you pay for in terms of man-quality.) But sure, why NOT ask a guy out, or a couple of guys? Like you say, could be a blog post (or series!)

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