Raising a kid is no easy task, especially as a single mom. It’s even harder when you are trying to co-parent with someone who does not feel the need to consult with you before making important decisions that have to do with your child.
Last September I found out from my son that his father was in a relationship. I get that my ex is not required to inform me of such things as they are really none of my business anymore, but what should’ve been my business was when he chose to move this new girlfriend into his home only a month later to essentially raise my child the days he is not here with me.
I’d think most courts would agree that the decision to add a “step mother” to a child’s life is something the biological mother should be informed of prior to it happening instead of being blindsided by something that changes a child’s life so completely.
Still there are some people out there, like my son’s father, who apparently disagree.
The other woman has been in my son’s life for almost a year and I’ve never met her. I’ve caught glimpses of her in the car when my ex has come to drop off or pick up our son, but we’ve never been properly introduced. I’ve kind of liked it that way given the circumstances of him allegedly cheating on me with her.
There was one time last Spring that my ex wanted to bring her to a picnic at my son’s school, but I just didn’t think it was the right type of situation for me to meet her. Perhaps it was selfish, but I didn’t want what was supposed to be a fun event for me ruined by having to sit next to the other woman on a picnic blanket for over an hour.
I’d always envisioned us meeting more privately, without my son around. I’d hoped that one day we’d all sit down and talk as adults so we could all be on the same page as to how Aidan is being raised, but my ex has proven time and time again that’s just not how he operates.
Today I received a text informing me that my ex will be bringing the other woman to the bus stop tomorrow for Aidan’s first day of second grade.
It wasn’t a “I know you’ve never met her and it may be a little awkward, but would you mind if I brought ____?” or a “I think it would be good for Aidan if I brought _____, is that OK with you?” kind of text.
No, it was a THIS-IS-WHATS-GOING-TO-HAPPEN-BECAUSE-I-SAID-SO text, which I’ve become accustomed to over the last few years.
While I appreciate the 16 hour advanced warning to put on my big girl panties, I still think it was a dick move.
Single parenting is one of the most difficult, yet most rewarding jobs there is.
My reward tomorrow will be the satisfaction I feel when I genuinely smile at my ex and the other woman at the bus stop with grace and dignity for my son, knowing that I’ve already accomplished more in the last year than they will accomplish together their entire lives.
This single mom is looking forward to it.