Of Hipster Trolls and Ignorance

I usually have a pretty thick skin. You have to when you’re the type of blogger that I am. I know full well that writing about the things I do and opening myself up on my blog and other platforms pretty much guarantees a hater or fifty, but last night when I logged onto Twitter after an extremely stressful day, hoping to laugh and unwind, I was greeted with a venom filled rant from a complete stranger I’d never spoken to or provoked and damn it, it got to me way more than it should have.

I’m no stranger to internet trolls. My very first blogging gig was a spot on NJ.com writing about parenting, and because I was not a “traditional” mom, I was quickly surrounded by a pitchfork yielding comment mob on my first posts.

You can see for yourself the string of rude comments left on this post I shared there titled “An unwed mom, living with boyfriend, speaks out

The thing is, I’ve always been very open. That’s just who I am as a writer. I ooze reality in the hopes of making people feel less alone. I make mistakes and am unapologetically me. But as open as I may be here, there are dozens of things about me that I will never share with the world. Emotions even I am not ready to pour out and read on my computer screen. So as well as anyone thinks they know me from what I share here or on Twitter, they may never know my whole story.

And Twitter, that’s just a completely different side of me and should rarely be taken seriously. It’s merely a collection of jokes and narcissistic thoughts that float around in my head.

The truth is I’m way more than the sexy profile pictures and the dick jokes I spew there. Those who take the time to click the link to my blog there, and are interested in reading more than the posts that are on my front page, have come to realize I’m really not desperate or a whore by any means. Those people realize I have a huge heart, that I have lived through more pain than most women experience in a lifetime, and that I want nothing more than to find love and happiness in a world that has tried to drown me on more than one occasion.

So this is the tweet I saw in my replies when I logged on to Twitter last night:

“FFS. SINGLE MOMS! STOPTELLING WOMEN LIKE @Melysa_S they are awesome. They are DESPERATE. Stop giving single moms a bad name”

I’m not going to even tell you who said it because that stupid self-righteous hipster doesn’t deserve anymore attention.

On a normal day this tweet would’ve made me laugh because it is just completely untrue and I would’ve continued on with my lady business, but yesterday it didn’t. Yesterday it brought me to tears. Because I’m a fucking human being with feelings not some stupid desperate whore like this woman claimed I am in multiple replies to people in her timeline.

I’m 99% certain she based her assumptions on my profile picture and jealousy over my bacon, instead of taking any time to find out anything about the real me I often share here.

If spending three whole months this summer pouring my heart into throwing THIS party for single moms, making no profit from it whatsoever, means I’m giving single moms a bad name, then I guess I am.

If responding to emails from single moms with heartfelt advice in videos like THIS hoping to help them better their lives and find themselves and their happiness means I give single moms a bad name, then I guess I do.

If picking myself up off the ground like I did in THIS post, finding the strength I never knew I had and choosing to live a life filled with laughter and love gives single moms a bad name, then I’m proud to…


You can judge me by this:

Or you can judge me by this:

The choice is yours…

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  1. Stacy Dean says:

    I chose, and continue to choose, <3

    1. Mely says:

      People find strength and heal in different ways. I find strength and heal through laugher and photoshopping bacon between my breasts. Not everyone gets my humor and that is fine. I appreciate those of you who do.

  2. tonyt says:

    Nicely said.

    The polls are in – @Melsya_S wins by having a real heart and being an example of strength to many!

    1. Mely says:

      I really don’t care about winning anything. I just want people to realize there is way more to me than anything they will ever see here. I don’t judge people. Never have and never will. And quite frankly, I think people who do are assholes.

  3. Alan says:

    Mely, I judge you by the second pic.

    I judge myself by the first. ;-)

  4. Mimzy Wimzy says:

    I choose not to judge. I choose to just love you and respect you for who you are, as is.

  5. Donna says:

    I love you and your dick jokes.

    I’m a single mom too, and I know how hard it can be to maintain an identity for yourself outside of being a mom, when being a mom (especially a single one) takes up so much of your time and energy. Honestly I mostly have the mom thing down. It’s the “ME” side of things I struggle with after having been married for ten years. I love reading your stories of both sides.

    That person certainly has the right to disagree with what you say and how you say it, but it’s downright jackassery to just throw out hate like she did. If she doesn’t like you or your message, all she had to do was stop reading.

  6. Leila (Don't Speak Whinese) says:

    You are showing the side of women that most can’t embrace out of fear of being called a whore, slut or apparently desperate. You are embracing all sides of you… even the sexual one that most feel they can’t because of social issues. That will intimidate others and make them uncomfortable so their only reaction is to bash you for what they secretly wish they could do.. everyone has a sexy side… even if they don’t realize it or are ashamed of it.

    Maybe this woman is a prude. Maybe she just likes to troll. Maybe seeing you being so open about sexuality and embracing it is making her feel insecure about not being able to. Or maybe she is a single Mom because her man left her for someone who sexually embraces themselves… or maybe she was just having a bad day and feeling ugly and needed to hate on someone.

    Or maybe she is really jealous of your rack (I know I am!)

    When it comes down to it you can never get the approval of everyone and trolls will always surface. I love how you took this on and I applaud you for it.

    I don’t see you as desperate… I see you as a single Mom with a heart of gold that really just wants to love and be loved by not only a man but her son, family, friends and everyone you can.

    MotherFuckingSugarCookies… wingbitches for life. I love you Mely.

  7. Beard says:

    You know your kid will probably eventually read what you post up on your blog and Twitter, right? Are okay with him reading your stuff? Just something to think about…

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