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Jul
30

The Balancing Act

Woman walking on tightrope over cityscape

He took my face in his hands and hastily kissed me after I walked through his door for our usual Monday night date, taking me by surprise.

Without even realizing, our Monday night dates have become part of my routine now. For those few hours each week he’s completely mine and I’m completely his, and I melt into this place that feels like home when we’re together.

He led me to the hallway and pinned me hard against the wall as his hands and mouth ran over my body before I even had the chance to say hello. It was unexpected, hot as hell and exactly what I needed after a week’s worth of doubts about us had made me feel uneasy.

His actions throughout that night erased all of my fear and steadied me because I knew we were still in this together.

For me, being in a relationship is like walking a tightrope. It’s a delicate balancing act between two people that all too often throws me to the ground leaving me on my knees.

If I give too much of myself, I lose myself and my footing. Conversely if I take too much from the other person, I lose myself and my stability too.

In some situations I’ll even try to push my partner to the ground if I fear they’re throwing me off-balance by getting too close. Other times that same fear makes me cling to them too tightly, causing them to shove me off the rope in an effort to save themselves.

After more than four years of being single my relationship equilibrium is definitely off – but I’m finding my balance. It helps that I have a pretty kickass partner performing with me too.

As we move from point A to point B, I know I can rely on him. He moves with me and shifts his weight to keep me centered.

No one has ever done that for me before.

Sure, our routine on the tightrope isn’t perfect – but love rarely is. It’s the near falls and sways, where we work together to maintain our balance, that make me appreciate the partner I have right now even more.

 

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2 comments

  1. T says:

    Perfectly described. Perfectly understood. Sounds wonderfully enjoyable!

    1. Mely says:

      It’s been an incredible journey the last two months. Learning so much about myself and love :)

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