The events of this week were a wake up call.
I won’t go into detail regarding the somewhat unfortunate things that happened to this single mom over the last few days because I don’t want this post to be a pity party.
Don’t cry for me Argentina.
But I realized something yesterday…
Things will never be easy for me, even though there are times when things are going so smoothly that I’m tricked into believing that they will.
I’ve learned that some days and weeks are better than others, but my life will never be easy.
It’s the roller coaster that I ride as a single mom.
Many of you reading ride it too.
I’m sure you’ve seen the change in me over the last few months. I’ve accomplished so many amazing things. I’ve grown in astonishing ways. I’ve been gagtastically happy. It felt as if everything and anything was going my way.
For awhile my boss and I were joking about how I was a ray of sunshine that came into her life, bringing her luck. And for awhile I really felt like I was walking on sunshine.
But over the last few weeks, particularly since deciding to take on all of the expenses that come with my new apartment and independence, some stressful clouds drifted in.
This week a summer storm struck with rumbling thunder and destructive lightening that shook me to the core.
It scared the shit out of me and made me second guess whether or not I am really capable of doing this all on my own; not that there’s any turning back now that I have the keys to my apartment and my move scheduled over the next two weeks.
There are days I’d like to give up and let someone else take over for me like other women with partners to lean on often do, but as a single mom I don’t have that luxury.
We single moms just keep swimming.
I could be bitter about my situation and the people who have let me down.
I could have a pity party for myself every day of the week because things will never be as easy for me financially or otherwise as I raise my son alone.
Or I can be OK with all of that and the other burdens that come along with my life as a single mom because for every negative there is a positive and then some.
I choose to live in the moment and enjoy the days that sparkle because I know that even during the shitty times I’m incredibly lucky.
The money will come, the bills will get paid and everything will always be just fine… easy or not.
That’s the roller coaster we ride as single moms.
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6 comments
Ann says:
June 16, 2012 at 3:41 AM (UTC -4 )
Yes, it must be a very tiring job, well done
Random Blanche says:
June 18, 2012 at 9:27 AM (UTC -4 )
u hit the nail right on the head with this post… this single mom THANKS YOU!…
April says:
June 22, 2012 at 5:22 PM (UTC -4 )
So well said! And here’s the thing I’ve begun to realize: that’s true for everyone, really. Sometimes ours feel different because of our marital status, but plenty of married people go through this, too! It turns out we’re all riding the roller coaster. Some of ours are just more familiar than others.
Charlotte says:
June 24, 2012 at 8:20 AM (UTC -4 )
I can totally relate to this post as a single mom with 2 children. Child support is a rarity for us so we survive on my paycheck alone. Thanks to God, the bills are always paid and we have all of the necessities. I’m determined that my children will not miss out on anything I can afford for them to participate in, though they understand they can’t have everything they want. Being a single parent is definitely an adventure! I just know one day when my kids are off at college or raising their own families I’ll look back and it’ll all be worth it
Tania says:
June 27, 2012 at 11:54 PM (UTC -4 )
Very well put… All we can do is keep swimming and try our damnedest to hold our heads high above water! Grab on to my lifeboat mama were all here for each other
Anna says:
July 26, 2012 at 6:27 PM (UTC -4 )
I really needed to see this today:
The money will come, the bills will get paid and everything will always be just fine… easy or not.